“I will Survive” my humiliating karaoke experience

Last night was our last night at hotel l’Esagono (aka Club Med).

Avinash was excited to get the last bits of of our Bella Vita entertainment experience. We were eating in the dining room and baby dance hour started. He scarfed down the last of his food and literally ran to the dance area. All the kids were on stage dancing choreographed moves to what seemed to be well known Italian kids songs. I picked up Avinash and put him on stage. He froze.

I was surprised to see him not want to dance. After a couple of minutes I brought him off and asked why he didn’t dance. He told me he didn’t understand Italian. I also know he was the only one who didn’t know the dance moves and when he tried to follow he lagged everyone by a few seconds. He also didn’t have Mom and Dad by his side making fools of themselves next to him.

I respected his wishes and let him watch while tapping his feet from the sidelines.

Well, the next event for the night was karaoke. Immediately, the entertainers ran over to us and begged for one of us to sing an English song. I looked over to Nam and everything in his face and body language said, “Hell no”. All eyes were on me. The most bearing, my son’s.

There are a few things I have true fear of in life. One of the top is singing. I don’t even sing in the shower, my singing voice is that bad. I am not humble or bashful about singing, I truly have a horrible singing voice. If you ask my husband or sister they will tell you I sound like a braying donkey when I try.

Now I was in a situation. I saw Avinash’s stage fright only minutes earlier and I now had a chance to set an example by being a good sport and getting up there myself.
So I reluctantly succumbed to the requests and was assigned #6. Nam looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

The singing started. Everyone singing what appeared to be Italian classics. I was about to go up there with sweaty palms and heart racing so fast I thought I was going to pass out.

One of the entertainers suggested I sing “I will survive”. Sounded like it was well known by Italians and they had the karaoke music.

Finally my turn. The next 4 minutes were some of the longest of my life. I’ve seen some bad karaoke performers and if they are lucky a good natured audience will help them by singing along. My audience… Silence. I saw someone in the front row with a mouth so wide open I thought they could catch flies with it. It was horrible. And I couldn’t see Nam and Avinash.

I looked to the main entertainer and silently pleaded with him to help. He tried to but I think it only made it worse because now I was braying over someone that actually had the tune and pitch.

The best part was that when it was finally over I finally saw my people in a front row corner. I collapsed into my chair and and closed my eyes, not able to look at my family. When I finally did Avinash asked me “What was that song? It wasn’t good”
Moral of the story? God knows.

Should I have gone up or not?
If nothing else these guys have got the ultimate blackmail video of the whole thing.

Side note: almost 10 later on our first day in Paris and Avinash strolls into the bathroom singing and humming, ” I will Survive”.

Posted from Alghero, Sardinia, Italy.